Post- Reading: Orphan Train

2. “I learned long ago that loss is not only probable but inevitable.”

Molly and Vivian both experienced very hard things that no kid you should have to go through. Through these situations they learned things about people and the world that caused them to be circumspect in all of their relationships because they knew if they weren't, they would get hurt.

When we are put in difficult situations, we learn lessons. The things we learn may be hard to accept, but they can help us to avoid hurt in the future. Vivian and Molly both learned that loss is not only probable but inevitable.

In both Molly and Vivian's life, they experienced death. Their families died, and they were then placed with whatever family would take them. Once they were placed in these homes, they soon found out that the people that wanted them had ulterior motives. For example, Vivian, in her first home, was expected to sew all day long in order to make her guardians money. She expected that they would love her or at least care, but instead she got some mediocre food and insufficient bedding. The next home she was placed in only wanted her for her ability to care for children. She learned the hard way that people only wanted what she was worth, and thus began the long journey of her premature growing up.

The straw that broke the camel's back for Vivian was when her first husband died. The only person she truly loved was taken away from her, and she decided that she could no longer endure the pain of losing something that meant so much to her. So, how could she avoid that pain? Well, her answer was to not get attached and to love something so much in the first place. This played a huge role in her giving up her child. Vivian decided that she wouldn't become attached to this child so she gave it away.

Molly handled this realization of loss being inevitable in a way similar to Vivian. She knew not to trust or get attached to anyone because they would finally decide she wasn't worth the trouble anymore and leave. So, when Dina told her to leave she wasn't surprised and when Jack worried about her, she always told him that one day he would get fed up and leave.

Molly and Vivian experienced so much loss in their lives that they were finally able to accept that it would always happen sooner or later. They decided to be prepared for the worse and to keep people out, all in an attempt to avoid the hurt that constantly found its way into their lives.

Orphan Train:Pre-Reading

1. Empathy (the ability to understand and share the feelings of someone else) is a necessary human emotion.  Write a blog post that discusses empathy; what helps people be empathetic, describe a time when you felt empathy towards someone else/someone had empathy towards you, explain what makes it impossible to feel empathy for someone.

We have all had something awful happen in our lives. Along with the hardships comes the countless, empty "I know how you feel."  We become weary of the lies, and we wish that someone would just understand how we truly feel without all the phony attempts to make us feel better. This is the reason empathy is so vital in our suffering. We need someone to talk to who really understands how we feel in the bad and the good.

In my opinion, the road to becoming empathetic starts with us having to experience our own trials in life.  We faced a problem and came out of it knowing the mistakes we made and what we could have done better. Instead of regretting our mistakes, we can channel it into someone who is facing a similar problem and who desperately needs the help. We can use empathy to help others with not only advice, but with understanding as well.  A genuine understanding of the big and little problems in life just makes you feel like you’re not crazy for feeling pain. Sometimes words or advice don't even have to take place for someone to display empathy. Sometimes, someone just being there will suffice.  If you haven't experienced anything remotely similar to someone's problems, you can't display genuine understanding and you certainly can't display empathy.

Empathy is not just needed in the bad times, but the good as well. If you just won a basketball game after a previous season with no wins, then you want someone to understand how good you feel about it. Feeling happy is not nearly as good without having someone to share it with.

When my brother left for college, I thought it wouldn't be hard saying good-bye to my "enemy" of 13 years, but now, just thinking about it, it could make me cry.  I know how hard saying good- bye can be and the feelings it arouses. I  know what it feels like to be terribly wrong. And I know what it feels like for life to move too quickly. All of these feelings hurt, but the little comfort I find is in my mom. She knows what all these things feel like because he is her son. She knows the pain of saying good-bye to a chapter in life that was taken for granted for far too long. My mom and me both find some relief in each other's empathy.

We have all experienced hardships, but hopefully we've also experienced someone who is real, and doesn't put on airs to make us feel better. They gave us empathy that was much needed in a current situation in life. Hard times can be turned into a lesson learned that could potentially help someone who's suffering. Good times can become that much better when someone gives just a little bit of empathy.  

Empathy is a much needed thing that is appropriate in any stage of life.